If you asked me what my top three qualities are when looking to build strong relationships, its these: Honesty, Integrity and Genuine Communication. I have found these qualities are difficult to find, in tandem. I know a lot of people who have integrity and honesty but lack the ability to communicate and while I am not a perfect communicator, I do pride myself on being a honest communicator and one that does not brown bag. The brown bag for those of you who don't know, is a metaphor for someone who takes all of their uncommunicated issues and places them in their hypothetical brown bag. When the pressure gets heavy or they have had enough (their brown bag is full), they dump it all on you at once. It's shocking. You hear things you didn't even know they were feeling; perceptions that are so far from the truth you can't believe it and while at that point, they are being honest, the delivery of their brown bag never comes across properly.
Communication, in my opinion, is an art and my turning point was a few years ago when I met my communication match. I'll reserve the name to protect the innocent (LOL) but will tell you that this individual said to me one time, "I think you're saying that I'm lacking confidence, am I reading you right?" And my response was, "yes, I believe you are lacking confidence as her is why..." We went on to have a meaningful conversation that eventually led to her admitting she was lacking confidence and her and I worked together to create a plan to increase it. I had the pleasure of watching her work hard on realizing that she is better than she realized and if she put her mind to it, she could do anything. After all, what did she have to lose anyway? The point here is that our relationship turned into one that has honesty - she told me exactly how she felt; integrity - she didn't act like everything was fine when it wasn't and genuine communication - she was able express herself real time.
Meeting your match when it comes to core values is important and my recommendation to you is to figure out what those core values are that will make a difference in the relationships you have in your life. I'm very clear on the types of people I want close to me and therefore, have amazing relationships.
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